Dear our prized American government - the puppets that run this country for us:
Please tell your other pimps, the wealthy citizens, such as myself, making all of the decisions for you, while you do all our dirty work, that there is a major problem in this country that can't be ignored any longer. Colorado & drugs. Not the high-end, white powder shit we all partake in. That's not a drug. That's a fucking gift from God. But that cheap shit the masses use. That shit that Colorado unjustifiably and ignorantly legalized fairly recently. Mary Jane. Please tell me you haven't been too high yourself to pay attention to what's going on there.
Just in case, let me brief you. Since Colorado legalized Mary Jane, less people are getting locked up for petty drug charges, and their economy is booming. Fucking. Booming. So much so that the tax revenue there is so enormous, they are considering passing some of that wealth back to the citizens. Are you kidding me? That bullshit is un-American.
First of all, there is plenty of room left in the jails in this country. Overpopulated? Please. If those prisoners were forced to live in facilities similar to those we helped the Nazis build during WWII, they would be thanking us. Just start doubling up the inmates in each cell if space gets tight. They already have more rights and receive better treatment in there than they should, so fuck their rights. Those animals deserve less anyways. And we need those petty drug users locked up. Why? Because the far majority of them are poor, and we need the poor controlled and isolated. And a lot of them also happen to be racial minorities, and well, that's just icing on the cake. Racism and social control of the poor. That's American.
Secondly, who cares if it generates enormous revenue? We need massive debt to keep the masses dependent on the system put in place by us - the powerful. Dependence spawns control. We can't have resistance. We can't have people bitching and moaning about how much power and wealth we have. I would like to retire to my multimillion dollar home in peace every night. Not to mention, the more revenue there is, the more they want from us! The don't need anything else. Wealth inequality and blind patriotism. That's American. How else are we supposed to control the masses and acquire unchecked wealth?
Lastly, who cares if we, too, use drugs, and our founding fathers smoked and grew Mary Jane? That's us. Not them. Those with wealth and power are immune to the law. Maybe they should become one of us. Oh wait...chances are they won't now because we killed the American Dream years ago. Hypocrisy. That's American.
As you can see, Colorado and their legalization of marijuana is absolutely un-American and a threat to our power. It must be dealt with immediately before it sparks a movement, and we have a much bigger problem to deal with. Demands for a government by the people, for the people. Demands to overthrow the oligarchy we have worked so hard to establish and the implementation of true democracy and freedom that the masses have thought they've had all along.
For that reason, I propose throwing Colorado out of the union. They've shown their lack of patriotism for the magnificent ideals and values this great country was founded on. It is time that they go. I hope you and the other wealthy individuals in this country will agree.
Sincerely,
A Concerned Wealthy American
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